Carolina Blue Kicks Hottest Youngin’ On the Block.

I have a strange relationship with footwear. Growing up I was the youngest of three children. My parents being immigrants did not have the greatest start to life.

My brother and I were both born while my father was furthering his education. Needless to say money was tighter than fresh socks. One of the frugal corner cuts was passing clothing down to the next child. I often found myself wearing shoes that were on the other side of new, from my sister, and even sometimes intended for football played on turf. Being a child of the 80’s and 90’s, probably the greatest time for footwear, I was teased relentlessly. While classmates sported Jordan’s, AirMaxes, Reebock Blacktops and the like I was confined to Roo’s, McGreggors and other salty brands.

One summer when I was 12 years old, no more than a few days after school had let out my mother came home from a jog and pulled me off my bunk bed. “Get dressed, you have a job.” This is the summer I lost my innocence. I was a man. I had money in my pocket. I new how to spend it. Shoes. My obsession was so extensive that at one point both my parents sat me down in the living room in front of my shoe collection. It was like an intervention. Only I was in too deep.

My brother and I used to draw (he better than I) shoes and things. But the shoe sketches stayed with me, another dimension to my addiction. A way to expand my collection when my bank account says no. Maybe one day I can have a design of my own produced…

 

The latest of that collection that I just completed today, for todays Gentleman…

Inter-office Uno.

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

From: Doe, John
Sent: Tuesday, April 19, 2011 10:29 AM
To: Doe, Jane
Subject: Important Daiichi Merger and Acquisition Information

Hi,

I can’t remember why or how I saw your altranet photo, but I wanted to tell you it is a very pretty picture.

That is all…

…Unless you want to play a game of UNO. I am really good at it though so you will most likely lose…badly.

…J/K

P.S. – Please don’t punch me if you see me in the hallway for sending you this random email.

P.S.S – I really am good at UNO, I was J/K about playing.

P.S.S.S. – Unless you want to, but I don’t even own a deck.

Sincerely just giving you a compliment (and not implying anything else),

Chocolate Drop

I started drifting about 8 years ago (hard to believe) and in those eight years I have been on track with very few people of African descent aka black people. It always warms my heart to see anyone enter into an arena that is not the norm for their respective background. Whether it be a woman auto racing, a white sprinter, Jewish hot dog eating champeen, or a black man drifting.

I stumbled across Lex King who drives an FC RX7. I don’t know much about him, but his car looks respectable and he is competing in the TD ProAm.

He also has one of my favorite Bob Marley quotes pasted on his center console; “None But Ourselves Can Free Our Minds”. It comes from the great acoustic classic Redemption Song.

FC’s do not look that great stock to be honest. Pairing that with the style direction competitive drifting has taken would usually spell disaster. But I am happy to see that this man is doing pretty good in the style department…which of course is the most important part of drifting.

When I was a child I spoke as a man, now I am older and I play with childish things.

Since I was a wee lad I would play with anything that had wheels. I would go to the supermarket and push the shopping cart around like it was a F1 car. My mother told me that I would not go to sleep unless I had one or two toy cars with me.

My desire to design cars and race them has never left. This week I have been playing some pixels and here are the results, I am getting better but I still have a ways to go.

Chocolate Bar Exam

A cow and a duck walk into a bar. The bar says you shall not pass. But little did the bar know that the duck had studied for the Chocolate Bar and he was a lawyer already in Hershey PA.

 

So the bar was doomed. He sauntered sadly out the station singing softly to someone saying simply “This is preposterous.” The duck, having no hands, tried to high five the cow. But the cow had none either so they settled on a low hoof/webbed footed greeting of salutation.

 

That was Monday.

 

Wednesday Jupiter was doing his pushups and Torrential rain poured down out of his eyes filling the tub with Calgon. It fizzled like shizzle dizzle big hizzle pizzle. Fat people need pants as well so how dare you proselytize your queen. Simmer down now. Breaking dances will make your pantses fall like a…did you know wearing your pants above your belly button is bad for the environment? Ask Al Green, all you need is love. Anyway Jupiter got out his lightening bolts and cleaned his ears. He lost his hearing of course but it will grow back. We have the technology to rebuild this city on rock and rolllllllllllllllllllll.

 

Tuesday comes after Wednesday around these parts so now comes the story of WishBone. PBS is cancelled. Oh no! Where will Mr. Rogers change his shoes? King Friday will be now King of Saturday. King Dunlop will get a flat and no longer be able to tackle tough issues!!! What becomes of a summers dream differed? I’ll tell you what becomes of that summer deferred student loan. It dies I tell you. Sallie Mae tried to touch me in my special places where I hide my money from her. So I reported her for molestation. They sentenced her to 30 years in prison, but if she behaves badly she gets off in 5 minutes for good behavior and the cycle starts all over again.

 

I went to college to learn that paying for knowledge is a pretty dumb idea. You can go to prison for that. Get your degree in prison guys. They serve free lunch there.

 

To be continued…

 

…Aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd we’re back. Where, we’re, were, there is a difference America. Did not ye attend college in jail? Whist ye were defending thine corned bread did ye not read the book of Old Englais? No sir. Not Enrique Iglesias, that man likes…man. Or is that Ricky Martin? Never the lest stay studying your lessons and keep the crowd guessing.

 

In the end the cow passed the bar exam, but he regretted not eating a snickers bar instead.

*Disclaimer* – if you find typo’s pretend they are not there.