Chocolate Bar Exam

A cow and a duck walk into a bar. The bar says you shall not pass. But little did the bar know that the duck had studied for the Chocolate Bar and he was a lawyer already in Hershey PA.


So the bar was doomed. He sauntered sadly out the station singing softly to someone saying simply “This is preposterous.” The duck, having no hands, tried to high five the cow. But the cow had none either so they settled on a low hoof/webbed footed greeting of salutation.


That was Monday.


Wednesday Jupiter was doing his pushups and Torrential rain poured down out of his eyes filling the tub with Calgon. It fizzled like shizzle dizzle big hizzle pizzle. Fat people need pants as well so how dare you proselytize your queen. Simmer down now. Breaking dances will make your pantses fall like a…did you know wearing your pants above your belly button is bad for the environment? Ask Al Green, all you need is love. Anyway Jupiter got out his lightening bolts and cleaned his ears. He lost his hearing of course but it will grow back. We have the technology to rebuild this city on rock and rolllllllllllllllllllll.


Tuesday comes after Wednesday around these parts so now comes the story of WishBone. PBS is cancelled. Oh no! Where will Mr. Rogers change his shoes? King Friday will be now King of Saturday. King Dunlop will get a flat and no longer be able to tackle tough issues!!! What becomes of a summers dream differed? I’ll tell you what becomes of that summer deferred student loan. It dies I tell you. Sallie Mae tried to touch me in my special places where I hide my money from her. So I reported her for molestation. They sentenced her to 30 years in prison, but if she behaves badly she gets off in 5 minutes for good behavior and the cycle starts all over again.


I went to college to learn that paying for knowledge is a pretty dumb idea. You can go to prison for that. Get your degree in prison guys. They serve free lunch there.


To be continued…


…Aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd we’re back. Where, we’re, were, there is a difference America. Did not ye attend college in jail? Whist ye were defending thine corned bread did ye not read the book of Old Englais? No sir. Not Enrique Iglesias, that man likes…man. Or is that Ricky Martin? Never the lest stay studying your lessons and keep the crowd guessing.


In the end the cow passed the bar exam, but he regretted not eating a snickers bar instead.

*Disclaimer* – if you find typo’s pretend they are not there.