+10 HP

I have a friend named Craig.

He drives a 6 speed AWD Volvo V50 wagon and wears Ray Bans while he does it. Whut.

“That’s a girls car!”

Well shut your mouth little boy because it’s not.

OK, yeah maybe lots of women and liver spotted men with prostate concerns drive them, but not in the 6-speed AWD trim. A turbo 2.5 liter inline 5 engine massaged with so many nerdy performance parts a Subaru enthusiast would be jealous, makes this wagon a bit more than a plush commuter car. In fact when you go to Volvo to test drive one of these they ask you to remove your shirt to verify you have hair on your chest. Yes Craig has a baby seat in the back, and yes he uses it to drop off his dry cleaning but do not make mention of that in his presence or you may be in danger of an 80’s style stomp out.

These boots haven’t been soaking in ivory liquid junior…

For years I have been hearing arguments about stickers. Some say they add 10 units of power per sticker, others use that as the butt of jokes.

Craig has many stickers on his car…well in his car, mostly the engine bay.





I have driven Craig’s car and I can say it is fast.

I have no proof that it is because of the stickers, but I have a feeling it is.

Either that or the force.

 

 

I didn’t take any pictures of the outside of Craigs car because it’s so fast all the pictures came out blurry.

My New Favorite Place To Shop…

http://www.duluthtrading.com is the manliest place to shop on the internet. My favorite item so far is the Ballroom Jeans. The description is simply amazing.

MEN’S BALLROOM JEANS WITH A HIDDEN CROUCH GUSSET FOR EASE

 

“I like the fact that you designed your jeans without the cheap hotel syndrome (no ballroom),” wrote John P. from Ohio. Good point, John – so now we call them Ballroom® Jeans. They’re cut on the easy side, and built with the added comfort of our F.O.M.™ (freedom of movement) Crouch Gusset, so they don’t feel too tight when you bend, stoop or squat. The waistband, bottom leg openings and pockets are lined with Fire Hose® canvas – these babies are NOT going to fray, rip out or get holes in ’em from nails. Finally, side pockets are a full 12″ deep so your stuff doesn’t fall out. So go ahead: bend, crouch, climb, do the hokey pokey in comfort.

 

They also have a sweet shirt to help you chop down trees and stuff:

My Mother Requested That I Punch You Out…

I pulled my S14 into a dimly lit gas station. The sweet smell of coolant stung my nose and the heat of an overworked SR20 slamed into my neck and face as I lifted my hood in disgust.

‘272 cams were a bad choice.’ I thought to myself as I walked towards the stations bathroom to fill my coolant bottle with water.

As I filled my gurgling radiator with water, a car that I had heard pass by already approached and pulled into the station.

“Hey, what kind of car is that?” A voice with a South African accent questioned.

“It’s a 240sx I replied.”

Usually my response would be met with ‘Oh cool I have a Eclipse I’m trying to hook up.’ or something similar. But what ensued was a surprisingly pleasant conversation with what turned out to be one of my best friends, Punch Maleka.

“Wait…what is your name?” I asked already embarrassed that I was skeptical that someone so calm and friendly could have such a cool and menacing first name.

His name was Punch, a man gifted with many talents.

It has been years since that night on a road I never take home from work, at a time I am usually elsewhere, that I ran into Punch, yet he never stops surprising me. He is an excellent tennis professional, he makes music, DJ’s, and is making his way into Motorsports as a hobby. But one of his skills that I admire the most he is quietest about, his art. As far as I know Punch has had no artistic instruction. But his renderings are better than many of the people I attended art school with. I was browsing a few of his drawings and was inspired to share.





Talent in the raw.

Check out some of Punch’s albums and singles here: http://www.punchuashen.com

Mantis

Back when I was a youngin’ me and my brother used to watch this showed called M.A.N.T.I.S. It was so lame. We didn’t have cable so we took what we could get. From 1994-95 We were able to have a black super hero (other than blank man) to look up to. Some of his gadgets were cool but he didn’t have a cool car to whip around and profile like Bruce Wayne did. This is what I imagine his car could be.

I might have to cop the two season DVD set for old times sake.

Stilletto Pumps In the Club…

For that chick that just wants to cut someone but doesn’t have the skill to swallow a razor and sneak past security. Kife Pumps blend lethal revenge, cooking, and fashion all into one package, EVERYTHING a woman loves.

Be you running down a dark alley from a predator, stumble upon an impromptu knife fight but left your pocket blade at home, or find yourself in a James Bond film needing a special skill these shoes fit the bill.