I found Lo Lo Jones’ website and I decided to kick game. I’m so smooth I don’t know how some PYT has not scooped me up yet…

“Will you please marry me? Seriously. I think we should do that. I am a virgin too. I smell good most of the time and I used to be an athlete as well. No where near as accomplished as you but I can out run small children and gentlemen with canes and walkers. I am of Jamaican descent. I hear that you are now training to be a bobsledder. Well I am not sure if you are familiar with Cool Runnin’s but Jamaicans know a thing or two about bob sledding. I am also good at hugging people when they are sad. When you were sad at the Olympics it made me sad. I wanted to hug you so you felt not as sad. You are cute even when you are sad. If you are not down with getting married to a man that you have never met I understand. We should at least meet up for a game of Uno and some cream soda. Good luck in the future Lo Lo. Take care of your face because it makes people happy, at least it makes me happy. I imagine it makes others happy as well.”

I got a response almost right away! She is thinking about my proposition and will get back to me.