I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!

21 Questions with a real life Conquistador (Mike of One Motion)…

I bet you have never met a Conquistador before. Mike Quinonez knows that, and that is exactly what he is counting on for his plan to succeed. Dressed as a mild manored mechanic and his ship hidden off the coast of Jersey, Mike has gone undiscovered since setting sail from Spain and landing on US soil. His plan? His plan is to gain peoples trust by offering good service at a reasonable prices, then when they least suspect it…take over the world.

But I am not easily fooled. What gave him away to me? Aside from the obvious fact that no mechanic in his/her right mind would offer good service cheap, it was his hair. It is always cut and combed way too nice for a mechanic. So I decided to investigate. You can thank me later.

Mike’s front is called One Motion. Ha!! I know right? What type of name is One Motion for a garage? It doesn’t even have motorsports, motors, moterwerkz or farfegnugen in the title. Eager to dispel my suspicions Mike invited me to take pictures of him in his “natural habitat”.

One motion like many new garages is based around drifting. Specializing in cages, engine swaps, Mexican food, stretching tires, and elbow massages Mike has slowly grown his customer base. But one look at the cars in and around the shop tells the fact that he is not limited to the aforementioned.

I brought some wheels over to test Mike out. 225/40/18 on an 18×11, a cake walk if you are really an mechanic and not a Spanish spy sent by the Queen to steal all of America’s cheese.

He got lucky and was able to bead them.



Still not convinced I investigated more. I watched closely as Mike and his fellow conquistadors worked out some kinks on Reese Marin’s competition car.

After some poking around, booty scratching, and squinting he took it out for a test drive, while his employee T.J. followed on the support vehicle.

Hmmm, another lucky fix…this Conquistador obviously committed to knowing the role he was to perpetrate.

So now it was time to ask some deep probing questions. Only the real deal could pass this test.

FVU:
Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule of Conquistadoring and stuff. I just have a few questions for the readers or anyone who cares to get to know you and your business better. Just so you know this is not a test but you can fail. Answer the questions completely and with a straight face.

First question, for the record please state your full name:

Michael Jose Ramirez Morales Rodriguez Garcia Martinez Hernandez Lopez Gonzalez Perez Gomez Diaz Reye Ortiz Ramos Quinonez:
My full name is Michael Jose Ramirez Morales Rodriguez Garcia Martinez Hernandez Lopez Gonzalez Perez Gomez Diaz Reyes Ortiz Ramos Quinonez.(Michael Quinonez)

FVU:
What made you leave Spain to come to Philly and be a conquistador?

Michael Jose Ramirez Morales Rodriguez Garcia Martinez Hernandez Lopez Gonzalez Perez Gomez Diaz Reye Ortiz Ramos Quinonez:
Someone asked me how do I celebrate Columbus day and so I came to Philly and now I live here.

FVU:

When and why did you open One Motion?

Conquistador Mike:
I opened One Motion in November of 2010. I opened One Motion because i got tired of hearing how people get screwed over by other shops. I just want to do a professional job at a good price.

FVU:
What is your favorite emotion?

Conquistador Mike:
Favorite emotion would be sarcasm. if you dont have a sense of humor something is wrong with you.

FVU:
What does the tattoo on your arm mean and were you under the influence when you got it?

Conquistador Mike:
I got my tattoo on the arm because it is cool. if you have a story for your tattoo you have problems.

FVU:
When did you start drifting and what got you into it?

Conquistador Mike:
I got into drifting around 2004. My cousin was into anime and showed me Initial D and I’ve been hooked ever since. Then I found DG Trials which is now Clubloose at E-town and I would go on Wednesday to watch on the sidelines. Then I saw the signal demo and that really did it for me. Then I started to drift around 2005.

FVU:
Why don’t you drift now?

Conquistador Mike:
I haven’t drifted since around 08. I don’t even think I remember how to drive a manual anymore. I stopped because it was called growing up. I had to get my life together and get a better job. I found a job detailing private aircraft and slowly worked my way into eventually working on them. It took me two years to get my a&p on the field. But unfortunately I got laid off and then I opened up one motion.

FVU:
What does One Motion mean?

Conquistador Mike:
One Motion.

FVU:
If you were a hot dog and you were starving, would you eat yourself?

Conquistador Mike:
Yea this way i can double in size and be unstoppable.

FVU:
Name the top ten greatest wheels of all time:

Mikes personal drift car under reconstruction.

Conquistador Mike:
ADVAN RG2, TE37, VOLK CE28N, WORK MEISTER, WATANABE wheels, BBS LM, REGAMASTERS, ADVAN MODEL 5, WEDSPORT TC105N, and SSR long champs.

FVU:
Those who know your shop knew Ryan, where is he?

Conquistador Mike:

FVU:
When you aren’t being a Conquistador what color socks do you wear?

Conquistador Mike:
Black socks. they never get dirty and the longer you wear them the stronger they get!

FVU:
Do you walk to work or pack a lunch?

Conquistador Mike:
I live the Philly life now i ride my hipster bike.

FVU:
What is the longest you ever went without taking a shower?

Conquistador Mike:
I’m not sure what a shower is.

FVU:
Do you ever dream of candy coated raindrops?

Conquistador Mike:
Sounds dangerous.

FVU:
Describe the car you would build if Monster Garage sponsored you with $50,000 worth of parts and materials.

Conquistador Mike:
Nissan titan drift truck!!!

FVU:
Caption this picture:

Conquistador Mike:
You better tuck in that lip or you are going to set off a tripwire!!!!

FVU:
What is your favorite project you have worked at since owning One Motion?

Conquistador Mike:
My favorite project would have to be the jeep SRT 8 we did.

FVU:
How many brothers and sisters do you have?

Conquistador Mike:
Did you see my full name?

FVU:
How much would you charge to put an LS1 in a Prius?

Conquistador Mike:
If you have to ask you cant afford it.

FVU:
Can you please fix my Lexus so I can bring you my other car to fix soon?

Conquistador Mike:
I don’t think Jesus himself could fix your Lexus.

…He passed again. After all this grilling Mike was visibly tired. Maybe it was from all the late nights catching up to him, or the 7 day work weeks.

So everyone loaded up into a car and drove off to Chipoltle. I’m starting to wonder if Mike is even Spanish or is he Mexican??

Either way two years ago Mike finished up my 1JZ SC300 for me and it ripped. He currently has my new SC300 and if its anything like what he did last time it will be worth being lied to about where he comes from or what his favorite bean is…

About these ads

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 62 other followers